A Pickle

August 2008

One of my favorite baseball plays is called "a pickle". I love it because you are on the edge of your seat waiting to see who is going to out play who. I'm sure it isn't fun for the one caught in the middle.
Well I kind of feel like I'm in a pickle and it isn't fun. I feel torn. As the past two months have flown by it has made me think more and more about the end of my term. I know there were days when I desperately wanted to go home and now there are days that I dread the end. Why is it that we can't enjoy where we are but long for where we are not (or dread what is coming)? I have been asked to extend a year. Part of me breathes a sigh of relief and says, "Yes, I'd love to. More time in this part of the world working with people I love." While the other part says, "Another year is so long." What's a girl to do? So I'm praying, begging God for direction. I don't want to do something that doesn't honor God. I don't want to make a decision for selfish reasons. I desperately want His will...
I've been reading this book and read this the other day:
'"Holiness does not consist in mystic speculations, enthusiastic fervours, or uncommanded austerities; it consists in thinking as God thinks, and willing as God wills." Neither does holiness mean, as is so often thought, adhering to a list of 'do's and don'ts', mostly don'ts. When Christ came into the world, He said, "I have come to do Your will, O God" (Hebrews 10:7) In all of our thoughts, all of our actions, in every part of our character, the ruling principle that motivates and guides us should be the desire to follow Christ in doing the will of the Father.'